While going through the e-mail bin for the "From Around the World" update, I found these gems:
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Fargo North (in absentia) 4/19/2001
"Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house.

They search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open Every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They swore at Billy Bob and left.

The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, Buddy!"
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Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E & J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6-8 range.

While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, "there is a market for cheap wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, RI. "There is wine in a box that people are willing to buy," she said. "The right name is important."

The top 15 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
15. Box O' Grapes
14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
13. White Trashfindel
12. Big Red Gulp
11. Grape Expectations
10. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
9. NASCARbernet
8. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
6. Stagger Home
5. Chateau des Moines
4. Martha Stewart's Sour Grapes
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Wriesling
1. Nasti Spumante

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From Mergaman

This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the words Lewinsky and Kaczynski (the Unabomber) in a limerick.

Here are the 3 winners:

Third place:
There once was a gal named Lewinsky,
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky,
'Twas "Hail to the Chief,"
On this flute made of beef,
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:
Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress,
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown,
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better,
Than a bomb in a letter,Given the choice of how to be blown.
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A few days after George W. Bush's inauguration, a man came up to the marine on duty at the White House and said "I'd like to see President Clinton."
The Marine politely answered "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president."
The man said, "Oh, okay," and walked away.

The next day the marine was again on duty and the same man approached and again asked to see President Clinton.
The marine again answered, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president."
Again the man answered, "Oh, okay," and walked away.

The third day the same man approached the same marine and again asked to see President Clinton. The marine, a little annoyed by this time, said: "Sir,I've told you, Mr. Clinton is no longer president. Don't you understand that?"

"Yes, I do," said the man "But I just enjoy hearing it."

The marine smiled and said, "I'll see you tomorrow."
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From Zeeeman

A woman went into a pet store to buy her husband a gift for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well", said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to do blowjobs!

"Blowjobs!?" the woman replied.

"It hasn't been proven as far as I know, but we have sold over 30 of them this month" he said.

Go Flyers...for Voyeurs Everywhere. My camera will certainly be loaded!